Monday, November 09, 2015

Changing Course

Welcome to the world of Brittany 3.0. *sigh*

I put in my notice at work today. It wasn't because I didn't like my job. I did. And I loved my co-workers. I even loved the insanity and absurdity of the travel industry. What I did not love was waking up in a cold sweat every night wondering how I was going to afford my life. And wondering what the heck I was going to do with no benefits for a year... including no vacation... and me a mom with kids. The whole situation sucked. So when I was offered a job with higher pay *and* immediate benefits, I jumped at the chance. It's a temp to perm placement through a staffing agency, but this is not my first rodeo. I've gone temp to perm before, and can't imagine why I won't now.

If you're keeping count, I'm now living in my third home since July and am on my third job. I started this whole journey bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and even if I don't look it (but honestly I do), I feel old, tired, and haggard, and about as bright and shiny as a pile of cow dung. My hair has been falling out for over a month now... strands and strands come out in the shower, when I brush it, when I run my fingers through it. I've probably lost 70-80% of what I started with. I've tried iron... I'm taking bovine thyroid supplements... I'm trying to go out and have fun and relax and engage in relaxing hobbies... but the bags under my eyes, the clumps of hair in the trash can, and my desire to crawl in the bed and stay there, hoping fervently that not.another.fucking.thing of any noteworthiness happens to me for a looooong loooong time are testaments to the fact that I don't do well at all with this much upheaval in my life.

At the same time, I don't really have anything to complain about. Things are finally going my way, my general life situation has been steadily improving, and things have calmed down considerably. Since it's November and everyone is blowing up Facebook with their thankfulness, I'll join the party too.

1. I'm very thankful for Archie, my new dog. Now I understand why none of the other adoptions worked out. He truly is EXACTLY what I was looking for. Funny, spunky, snuggly, able to adjust to apartment life. Great with the boys. Good with other dogs. Able to be a couch potato 5 days a week and then go for a hike on the weekends. He's great company, already loves me fiercely, and makes me laugh every day.

2. The boys. I think when I was a stay at home mom, we took each other for granted. If there is an upside to divorce and gut-wrenching custody schedules, it has to be that you get a chance to miss each other, and you try to make every moment count when you see each other. The boys and I have a great time together now (aside from the last half hour getting ready to leave in the morning) and now that my life has calmed down somewhat, we can start having more of the fun kind of adventures and less of the stressful ones.

3. My friends are the best friends in the world. I am truly one of the luckiest people I know because my friends have been there for me in ways I can't even wrap my head around. And when I say there, I mean THERE. I couldn't ask for better friends. All of you. I appreciate the facebook chats, the texts, the phone calls, the help, the moral support, the company, the readiness to go out on the town. Whatever I need, whenever I've needed it, I've been able to count on so, so many people.

Things are finally looking up. Hopefully the third time is the charm.

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