Thursday, March 05, 2015

What's On My Ipod

I don't know about you, but music has always been important to me. I'm actually a musical learner, even though I don't know too many teachers who are willing to burst into song in the middle of the classroom. Anyway, some people just fascinate me, and I would like nothing more than to sneak a peek at the soundtrack of their lives (For example: Vladamir Putin. He looks like he's all into Alfred Schittke, but who knows? Maybe he shakes it to Brick House from time to time.). I wonder if people fit their musical choices. You'll have to let me know if you're surprised by mine.

I just got my ipod for Christmas, and it's my constant companion. When it's cold and snowy outside, and it's all I can do to drag myself out of bed, all I need is a little music to get me going in the morning. As I write this now, I'm listening to my Mellow playlist, so this go round, I'll tell you about the songs and memories attached to these songs. Another day, and another blog, I'll share my 900 Miles playlist, my Party/Road Trip playlist, and the one I call In A Mood. :-)


Blackbird - Sarah McLachlan - I first heard this song when I was an exchange student in Hungary. My host family had an old Beatles album, and I was dying to listen to anything in English. I used to sit in my host parents' living room listening to the Beatles' version over and over, wondering what the hell I was doing there, dumped by my boyfriend, stalked by an infatuated classmate, going to high school, and learning the second hardest language in the universe, while all my friends were living it up as freshmen in college. It pretty much summed up my bleak optimism at the time. I was lonely, hurting and depressed about a break up I couldn't do a thing about, in over my head with a language I didn't understand and a culture that was so different from mine, but on the flip side, I was sort of coping, a little optimistic that someone better was just around the corner, and I knew from experience everything would get easier with time.

Come As You Are - Nirvana - I'm a child of the Grunge Era. What can I say?

Crazy Love - Michael Buble - I think we might all aspire to be like this chick.

Defying Gravity - Glee Cast - I love this song and its meaning. Both times I was an exchange student I was scared shitless to go, then scared shitless to come home. A lot of my formative years were spent metaphorically leaping off the precipice into the unknown. Every time I hear the song, I think about sitting on the plane on the runway before I left for Hungary and crying into my eye mask and hoping I wasn't being too obvious about it.

Everything - Michael Buble - This song pretty much sums up how I feel about my boys. I always change the lyrics in my mind to "and I can't believe that I'm your mom and I get to kiss you baby just because I can."

Fallin' For You - Colbie Caillat - I can so relate to the shyness and indecision and not knowing what to do. Plus the melody always makes me happy.

Feeling Good - Michael Buble - This song just makes me feel good. (Shocking, I know!)

Fireflies - Owl City - This was the song that was playing on the radio when the idea for 900 Miles popped into my head on my drive home from preschool drop-off. I pictured my characters falling in love surrounded by fireflies, and the rest of the drive home, I started fleshing out who they were and how it happened.

Home - Michael Buble - I spent a lot of my late teens far from home, lonely and homesick. First Holland, then Hungary, and then Minnesota. Despite how much I love living in NY, I miss NC and I miss my friends from high school that I never get to see. I relate deeply to this song.

I Can't Be With You - The Cranberries - Another I'm-in-Europe-and-I'm-homesick song. I was also a little pissed when I was dumped by my boyfriend as soon as I hit Hungarian soil, so this was my angry break-up anthem.

Landslide - The Dixie Chicks - This song makes me think of never knowing my dad, and all the pain of my parents' divorce.

Linger - The Cranberries - Part 2 of the sad/angry break-up anthem rotation. The funny thing is, I never replied to his letter dumping me but since he was still always at my house, I couldn't escape hearing about him and his new girlfriend (thanks, Mom :-( ). I had nothing coherent to say in response (you will start to sense a theme here). I should have just sent him this album and a tracing of my middle finger giving him the bird. But nevertheless, this is an awesome song.

Love Me Harder - Ariana Grande - Sometimes I just have shitty taste in pop music. :-P

Love Song - Sara Bareillies - My personal anthem. Yes I know she actually wrote this to her record company about an actual love song. For me it is a metaphor. If you are male, and god help you, ever liked me and thought you might want to date me after my heartbreak in Hungary, this is what you got. I was a stubborn, oppositional, moody, emotionally distant, deeply skeptical, unrepentant pain in the ass. I love this song. It is so me.

Make You Feel My Love - Glee Cast - This pairs nicely with Love Song, because it represents how I wish it could've been.

New York State of Mine - Glee Cast - I LOVE New York. 'Nuff said.

On Top of the World - Imagine Dragons - this was the opening song at National Conference last year and it reminds me of how much joy my little bag business has brought me.

Pictures of You - The Cure - Just a song I've loved since freshman year of high school. Yet another in my arsenal of lonely-I-can't-be-with-you love songs. Reminds me of how I feel about my dad.

Seasons of Love - Glee Cast - I love the sentiment and the harmonies.

Shake It Off - Taylor Swift - This song just makes me happy. Like Colbie Callait and Sara Bareillies, I feel like I'm hangin' with my peeps when I hear this one.

The Wind and Rain - Altan - I found this song while looking for old celtic ballads about rain for my novel. I don't know why I love this song so much, but I could listen to it on repeat for hours.

Baby Can I Hold You - Tracy Chapman - Sad break-up anthem #3. This one was put into heavy rotation after I came home and actually had to look at him again. The melody is so gorgeous, and I just love the line "if I told you the right words, at the right time, you'd be mine". These words apply to a couple relationships of mine actually. Realistic me knows it wouldn't have mattered, but I admire Tracy's optimism.

Keep Me In Your Heart - Gale Mead - This song was written by a man who knew he was dying, and it's just a breath-takingly sad song about wanting to be remembered and loved.

Dreaming My Dreams - The Cranberries -When I was in high school, I had a friend that, over the years, I grew to love very deeply. I never told him how I felt because I had no idea how he felt about me, we lived hours apart, and I was too afraid to potentially ruin our friendship. Years later, after we'd gone our separate ways, I was visiting my favorite English teacher, and she confided to me that she'd always hoped we'd end up together. Obviously we didn't, but whenever I hear this song I think about him and send him good thoughts wherever he might be.

Ridiculous Thoughts - The Cranberries - A great song to be angry to.

Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran - Just a romantic song that makes me happy.

Victim/Volunteer - Christine Lavin - I discovered Christine Lavin in middle school and she is hilarious. This is a smart song, basically telling people to stop acting like a victim.

Bumblebees - Christine Lavin - I've loved this song since 7th grade. Reminds me of mine and Tom's relationship.

Waltzing With Him - Christine Lavin - the first time I heard this, I loved it. Heartbreaking. I've been on both sides of this one.

Realities - Christine Lavin -  Insecure me loved this in middle school, and then it came back into heavy rotation in Hungary. It's a nice companion piece to Love Song.

Regretting What I Said (A Musical Apology)- Christine Lavin - This song is smart, and sarcastic, and witty, and just makes me laugh. I would totally say something like this.

What I Am - Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians - My jam from 6th grade. I saw Edie Brickell on MTV and was like THAT is exactly who I want to be like!

Love Like We Do - Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians - My philosophy about love.

Circle - Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians - Teenage Angst Brittany loved the dark, fatalism of this song. I still very much relate to the sentiment, although I'm no longer so deeply pessimistic, and am pretty sure my friends would kick my ass if I actually tried to bail on them.

Piece of My Heart - Janis Joplin - When I lived in Hungary, I spent a lot of time sad and pissed at the ex. Whenever my fellow-exchange student friends Mike and Jeff would come down to visit, Micaela (the other American exchange student in my town) and I would invariably take them to the one Pizza Hut in town. Pizza Hut was decorated with painted Hollywood icons on the wall, plus a jukebox in the middle of the room. This was one of the few English songs on it, and the first time I heard this song, I was in love. Janis was singing the song I needed to hear. Mike (dumped similarly by his girlfriend in Chicago) and I would dance and lip sync to this in the middle of a restaurant packed with incredulous Hungarians and just didn't give a crap what they thought. I hear this song and I'm right back there again.

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