So... I had really high hopes for this week. The boys were going to go to school, and I was going to hit the gym every day, and go back on my diet, and write my book, and get organized, and get going on all those projects I needed to finish, and my life was going to suddenly fall right back into place.
But that's not quite how things worked out.
I've been to the gym once this week--and it was an amazing workout--a mix of plyometric exercises and pilates. Which I needed desperately, since I've been an ice-cream-cone-and-burger-inhaling machine all summer. But I'm still hobbling around, in serious pain. It doesn't help that I pulled a muscle in my back, and the barometric pressure changes are giving me headaches. So maybe I should work into this whole work-out-every-day thing more gradually...
The diet hasn't exactly been a roaring success either. I am eating better than I was, but the honest truth of the matter is that I don't want to drink green tea all the time. I don't want to limit myself to poultry and fish for the next few months. And I'm just bored with the whole thing. I haven't yet reached the level of desperation neccessary to force myself to eat foods I don't like. I wonder if I just step up my exercise to an hour a day if the weight won't start to come off if I continue to eat sensibly and watch my portions.
I have done some writing... like a paragraph... this week. I'm totally underwhelmed by my productivity. And I'm disgusted with myself. And frustrated. I know what I want to write, but similar to the pulled muscle in my back, my words feel taunt and are a little twisted up (not to mention painful) and I'm really aggravated by my lack of flow. I went to the library and checked out three books set in the Appalachians, in hopes that if I can transport myself there and dwell there passively for a while, that it'll warm up/stretch my writing muscles and get them ready to work again.
In the meantime, I finally figured out today (because I am extraordinarily unobservant) that a mom I see all the time at the preschool is also the mom of Sam's arch-nemesis in Kindergarten. Her son and Sam are both in the same class, both are train obsessed, and both wanted to play with the train set I donated to the classroom when we first met at Meet the Teacher. On the first day of school, Sam didn't get to play with the engine because another little boy was playing with it (I'm guessing it was her son), and it cast a horrible pall on the whole Kindergarten experience. I told the mom about this, and she said she felt horrible about it, but I told her not to.
(Besides being funny to me in a I-can't-believe-the-sort-of-thing-that-will-ruin-a-five-year-old's-day kind of way, it also provided a very teachable moment for Sam. When he came home upset, we talked about how he likes to play with trains when he's nervous and scared, and I explained that the other little boy might also be nervous and scared, and need to play with the train to feel better. I added that maybe he was even more nervous and more scared than Sam, and he needed the train even more than Sam did that day. We talked about how disappointed Sam was about the train, but how he'd stayed calm, and found other things to do to cope--and how the other little boy might've not been able to do that, so it was very nice of Sam to be flexible.)
Anyway, I hadn't told her about the train dispute to make her feel bad... I had wanted to add that I thought it was great Sam found someone as passionate (and willing to fight to the death over trains) as him, and that it was possibly the (very rocky) start to a beautiful friendship. But the conversation got interrupted, as these conversations in the middle of preschool pick up tend to, and now she probably thinks I'm more upset about the situation than bemused. Ironically enough, this woman's other son is in John's preschool class and the only child John has mentioned all week. John says her younger son is his "favorite boy in the class". They only live a couple streets over from us, so it would be easy to get the boys together. Obviously, we need to plan a play date.
So even though my life is a little chaotic at the moment, things are falling into place for the boys. They're coping with school and seem to enjoy it, too.
I guess Mom just needs a little more time to get it together.