Okay, I'm not actually going to regale you with a play-by-play of the last three weeks. I think the name says it all. We have been in stomach flu hell here at the Vandeputte residence. But I have learned some valuable lessons for survival in a household vomitorium and thought I would share them with you.
#1 - When sending your husband on an emergency Gatorade run, it is important to specify the gatorade flavor whose artificial coloring best matches your carpets. Fruit punch red + light beige carpet = lots of scrubbing in the middle of the night.
#2 - Medicines that the doctor promises will melt immediately on the tongue, not only do not melt on the tongue, but maintain their shape and general consistency when spit across the room onto the dog.
#3 - Even a deathly sick toddler, too bleary-eyed to see straight, will spot the crushed up medicine in the bottom of his sippy cup.
#4 - Your husband takes on Mr. Universe/Sexiest Man of the Year/Ghandi status after standing outside in hurricane remnants hosing down bedsheets at 3am.
#5 - But you take on Miss America/Sexiest Woman of the Year/Mother Theresa status after volunteering to collect the stool sample.
#6 - If all else fails, large doses of probiotics are a godsend.