It feels like I haven't written a blog in a couple of years, even though it's only been a couple of weeks. I don't even know where to begin. The thought of staring down an empty page and coming up with the words to fill it feels like an insurmountable task right now. But I will try, because if I don't start writing again, I'll lose my momentum completely and won't post another thing til September.
So what have I been doing? In short--everything. The last few days I've gone on strike, taken naps, and tried to veg. I don't remember if I mentioned it on here (probably), but where I once was gluten intolerant, it appeared (for a while anyway) that I had gotten a reprieve after John was born. I ate gluten constantly and felt fantastic, and then right before the cruise, my body said "Not so fast, Breading-Breath..." So after a couple of weeks of near-constant digestive issues, I went off gluten, and then, while I was detoxing from baked goods, I started Atkins induction, too. I've lost the five pounds I've been losing and gaining since October, and my stomach is back to feeling happy and healthy. I'm hopeful that if I get my diet back in order, I can lose all this extra baby weight I've been carrying around my midsection and start feeling a little better about being seen in public.
Which seems more likely now that Sam has decided, seemingly overnight, to put the terrible twos behind him. I can go grocery shopping with him again! I haven't been able to take him anywhere in public without an enforcer (Tom) since early 2007. The trips still have to be short, and the snacks and rewards have to be plentiful, but at least he refrains from acting like a rabid bonobo whenever he's placed in a shopping cart.
Lately, Sam and I have been planning his birthday party in August. (Yes, months ahead, as usual.) I gave him several options back in the spring, and after going to the opening day of George the Train at the Pavillion, he told me he wanted a Thomas party at the park and wanted to ride George the Train. He also told me some friends he wanted to invite, that he wanted a chocolate "happy (birthday) cake", and he wanted a Thomas party with lots of Percy (anyone with a two year old boy understands what he means). He is helping me pick out invitations, favors, and decorations and is very excited about having so many choices.
For anyone who doubts it, there is a HUGE difference between two and three.
I was brought to tears at his end-of-year program at preschool when I thought back to who he was a year ago versus who he is now. He has changed so much. And John has changed even more. I get very emotional at the thought of time marching on. On the one hand, I want to go back and have more time with them as toddlers, but then I'm excited at the prospect of watching them grow and develop, just to see what they will become.
I'm not sure what Sam will be when he's older, but based on his temperment and interests now, I think he'd make an excellent civil engineer. He does some amazing things with his train set--solves problems in the most creative ways. For example, he has a 3-piece signal set. Two legs hold up a beam with two traffic lights. The legs connect to the beam with little wooden pegs, so it's unstable and falls apart easily. Sam is forever asking me to put it back together and gets very frustrated whenever he knocks it over. It's even less stable on carpet. So I've been re-building it on wide wooden blocks for him. He started doing this too, but the stability was still an issue whenever he accidentally brushed against it. I was playing trains with him today and noticed he'd found an ingenious solution to the stability problem. He'd built his train track beside his Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Playhouse, and had pulled down the mailbox door, and built the signal so that the upper piece was wedged against the mailbox door on one side and the door frame on the other. Problem solved.
Now if only I could get into a writing groove, all my problems would be solved too. But it's easier said than done. I have several ideas floating around my head, but none inspire me passionately enough to put them to paper. And I'm still trying to do something with Home Improvement, but everything I hear about the world of publishing says now is not the time for unknown writers to break through. It's frustrating, because I'd really like a sense of closure before I move on to my next project. I also have some ideas for short stories, or maybe one act plays, so hopefully I'll find the time to fiddle with that this summer during my novel-writing sabbatical and they'll inspire a bigger project.
In the meantime, I'm determined to get my house organized, and cleaned, and get out of the weeds I've been in since Sam was born. Things are starting to be a little less chaotic around here, and I'm starting to feel like I have a handle on things again. This will probably end up being one of those times I get overconfident and the universe gives my overly-enthusiastic nose a swat with a "down girl," but maybe not.
We'll see how it goes...