Monday, January 05, 2009

New Beginning

Like a lot of people, I was happy to see 2008 end. We didn't have a bad year, per se, but spinning your wheels doesn't exactly evoke warm fuzzies either. I've felt largely paralyzed for a long time. A lot of that has to do with having two children close together and waiting for things to return to normal. Except things don't return to normal. You just end up typing your blogs one-handed with a different sleeping baby.

There is still a lot I hope to accomplish, but life keeps throwing me curve balls. For example, it has become increasingly obvious to Tom and me that our house is not ideal for raising boys. An open floor plan downstairs, smallish rooms upstairs, no space for two children to spread out a train set and play except for the living room. We are in the process of saving for a new house, but not doing such a hot job at it since we spent $2K to be in NY for 6 days. I had been planning to put John in 3 day mother's morning out in the fall, but financially speaking, we really need to put that money towards the new house. So all that free time I thought I was going to have for writing just went down the drain.

I would say I'm disappointed, except for being so accustomed to changing my plans, it just seems like par for the course now.

I just hope that some day, eventually, my time will become predictable again. Now that I'm a mother, and not exactly a young mother, either, I am more preoccupied with time, and specifically the time I have left to live and accomplish things, than I ever have before. I want to do more than I ever have before, and my dreams are connected to the eternal tick tock of time marching on. The last three Christmases took me by surprise. My mind was still back in August, playing catch up.

2009 has shot out of the starting gate though, and I have high hopes for the rest of the year. Tom came back from Albany inspired to finish the tiling, and over the weekend came close to finishing the breakfast nook. While he worked on the floor, I cleaned out closets. The house has three staging areas. 1) for the spring children's consignment sales 1) for a springtime yard sale, and 1) for Goodwill. It feels good to go out with the old.

I'm looking forward, too, to what will come in with the new.

3 comments:

  1. Your attitude is absolutely inspiring. Thanks for sharing. :)

    P.S. sorry we didn't get to connect this past week... we ended up leaving Sat. ILs just too much!!

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  2. "I would say I'm disappointed, except for being so accustomed to changing my plans, it just seems like par for the course now."

    Bingo: that's my life in a nutshell, and took a long time for me to learn to roll with the punches. However, you seem to be on your way with it about 10 years earlier than i. good luck. i'm here for kibbitzing when you need it!

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  3. great post, brittany. i also an not exactly a young mother--had my girls at 37, and i just turned 43. i also feel that tick tock of time and wanting to get things done, yet can't find the tick tock to do them. it's a never ending cycle that we just have to make the best of!

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