Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Light At the End of the Tunnel?

Let's just get the formalities out of the way. I am still sick. My chest xray on Friday was unchanged from a month ago and the doctor was talking radiologists and cat scans and whatnot. I generally feel okay. Except for the fact that I can't take a good deep breath, my ribs hurt, and I get tired easily. I was surprised that I wasn't better, because I felt better, and damn it, I have too much to do right now to deal with any more doctor nonsense. But such is life I suppose... I'll cope as best I can.

But if you've been clamoring for a new blog entry, and are feeling neglected by me, I feel I must apologize. You know those nasty skunk scratch and sniff stickers it was our misfortune to receive as small children? Well, since I got sick, my general outlook on life has been far stinkier. My attempts at blog posts delved into such chipper subjects as the Jonestown Massacre and writers who committed suicide, so wouldn't you agree it was best to take a break?

During my break, I finagled a 5 day preschool week for Sam. You can't imagine how thrilled and excited I am by the prospect. I don't think I was willing to admit to myself (or others) how depressed I had become refereeing the constant chaos here at home. I felt paralyzed and trapped by the whims of a 2 year old and had nowhere to turn for help. It was effecting my mood, how I felt at home, how I felt about writing. Now I see endless possibilities in each morning that Sam is away. More cleaning. More writing. More gym. The world is truly brighter.

And it also means that I can spend some much-needed quality time with John. He's so mellow. He doesn't demand my attention. But all the same, I think it will be good for him to have some time to play with mommy without fear of a jealous 2 year-old's reprisal.

Tonight I started feeling industrious and began planning his first birthday party. He'll be six months old on Wednesday, so time's a wastin'! Plus, one of my best friends is visiting from Australia in mid-May. We haven't even seen each other since 1994 and I wanted her 3 year-old daughter to experience a real American birthday party. I reserved a covered shelter at Cleveland Park, right across from the zoo. I think I'm going to do a safari theme and then we'll all go to the zoo. I can't wait!

So anyway, this week is devoted to finishing my novel and getting it sent off. I have no excuse anymore and I'm tired of putting it off. Wish me luck.

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you're still sick! Am definitely wishing you all the best for the novel.

    ReplyDelete
  2. well, i'm glad i scrolled down a little farther! this post is much more chipper! congrats on time w/o 2yo and to looking to a birthday bright future!

    ReplyDelete

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