I feel like a hibernating bear, now awake, on her first glimpse of spring sunlight. There is a world outside my little cave!
Over the past couple of days I have discovered a new movie, a new song, and some new books that have thoroughly revived me.
The movie: Definetely, Maybe. There is a lot of testosterone here at the house now, and it was quite nice to endulge in a chick flick. Granted, I was cleaning the living room while I watched it, so "endulged" might not be the best choice of words, but you get the idea. I wanted to throw my hands in the air and scream "Thank God! A complicated love story!" Boy meets Girl, Boy loves Girl movies make me want to throw up. Oh I'm sure some people have relationships like that, but I don't. Tom and I will not be the little old couple holding hands in the park when we're ninety. We just don't have a relationship like that. When we're ninety, Tom will bitch at me for leaving denture cream smears on the counter again, and when I go all screaming harpy on his ass, unable to see the microscopic specs with my bad eyes, he'll just take his hearing aids out and throw them at me. But that's love too. It might be a volatile relationship, but at least we'll still be together. The creators of Definetely, Maybe seemed to get that too.
Which leads me to my new song of the week... which was part of a scene in the movie.
The song: I've Got a Crush On You - I like the Ella Fitzgerald version, which I downloaded from Amazon last night. You know sometimes a song will evoke or mirror a particular moment or emotion in time? It made me think immediately of John. I do have a crush on my baby boy. And it conjures images of nuzzling him under my neck as I sway in the darkness at 2am.
And why does it not call to mind my sweet Sam? Because Sam is not a Gershwin love song any more than he is a Brahms Lullabye these days. Check out Simple Kid's Lil' King Kong (Sam's new favorite from a Saturn commercial)--that would be what my toddler's evolved into. It suits me fine. It's still a great song-just a little more up tempo. :-)
The books: Well, first of all, I'm embarrassed to admit that I just now read this book. It was published in 2003. How did I miss it? Anyway, embarrassment aside, I finally read (devoured) the Dogs of Babel. God, what an excellent book! If only someday I could write a book like that. I could not put it down.
I followed this up with The Emotional Life of the Toddler by Alicia Lieberman. Not quite as gripping a read, but interesting in its own right. The most important thing that I took away from it was that Sam is still trying to communicate with me when he's tantruming and that instead of leaving him to his fit, I should continue to talk to him and try to give him words to describe his feelings rather than think he can sort himself out. This is actually helping some. And in combination with Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka I'm getting some great tips for dealing with him. Until I read Raising Your Spirited Child, I don't think it occurred to me that Tom and I were both spirited as well (the denture paste/hearing aid flinging fantasy didn't clue me in???), but after reading so far, I know that this book is going to straighten us all out.